Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Build 'Em Up: Confidence in Motherhood

Hello new friends!
 Build ‘Em Up is a series hosted by bloggers Erin, Kelly and Jennifer.
They post a topic and then all of us discuss it through our blog posts.  
This is my first ever blog post on my new blog, so this is also my first time partaking in Build 'Em Up but I just love the idea of it. Looking forward to "meeting" new friends along the way,
Today's topic "Being Confident in Motherhood."
Q: Are you confident in your abilities as a Mother?
If this question were asked you wouldn't see my hand in the air... ever! Now, if you asked the question: do you think you're screwing this mothering thing up? I'd do more than put my hand in the air, I would get up out of my chair and yell... YES!! At least once a day I have an "Oh Boy" moment. This is fitting since the Lord entrusted me to raise 4 boys. FOUR! Let me tell you boys are in a class all their own and to be honest they stump me!
I do have God'd grace and love on my side and I find 100% peace in this. I can't raise these boys alone ( with hubby), we need His help, His guidance. The Lord allows me the will to do what I can, fake what I can't ( ha ha ha) until I can or He gives me the strength to surrender what is out of my hands. He loves these boys more than I ever could and that took some getting use to.
My boys range in many ages so I find myself being pulled in many different ways during the day.
"Dill Weed" is our oldest. He is 11 1/2 and just finishing up his first year in middle school (6th grade). He is a fantastic boy but with his age comes that dreaded stage. Puberty is knocking at my door and no matter how many dead bolts I lock, draw my curtains closed and turn off all the lights, it keeps knocking! Puberty with boys is deep dark waters to me... it's all foreign to me. Not feeling condfident at all.
"Blue Eyes" is our 7 year old ( almost 8) and he is our sensitive boy. "Blue Eyes" will see the good in everyone and when I hear the song, You've Got a Friend in Me... I think of him. There are days when I am not confident that I'm allowing him to just be.
"Mouse" is our 6 year old and he is full of energy and jokes and he has no fear. Trust me, we were just in the ER a few weeks ago. I am not confident that my mothering will keep us from being back with another injury and while I know it's the last thing "Mouse" needs from me, all I want to do is wrap him in bubble wrap.
"Grand Finale" is two.... do I really need to say anything else, lol? A 2 year old can make the most confident person fall to their knees in surrender. :)
So, am I a confident mother, no! I'm a work in progress mommy that adores her baby boys more than she will ever be able to say. Today is better than yesterday... BUT... the jury is still out on tomorrow.